Ich habe es geschafft. Mathematik mein alter Erzfeind, ist besiegt und strahlt mir auf meinem kommenden Zeugnis immerhin als "Ausreichend" entgegen, alle anderen Fächer als "Sehr gut" "Gut" oder "Befriedigend." Ich bin zu den Abschlussprüfungen zugelassen und habe auch mein Praktikum würdevoll und ohne Krankheit überstanden :D So kann es weitergehen.

You know these days, where you lose everything? Your long learned patience, your understanding smile and your arms, willing to hug someone in pain.
I am just One of those people who don´t pull the plug on that downward -spiral. I just take it. It just gets better once I am alone with my thinking, with my rage. I don´t want my father to act all understandable like he would be the world´s greatest dad right now. He isn´t and won´t ever be. He just needs to learn that. I am sure someday he will. And if not I don´t fucking care.

Or other words that describe that everything is fine right now. Practical work is fine =D And a lot of fun -nice co-workers,much to do so the time flys by. My teacer visits me today,too - but hey xD there isn´t much that he could pick on.
=D Even the E in Maths will become a D XD Yeah.

Everything in my damn report card will be good -all between A and B just maths will be an E.
Wonderful - but I think I´ll find a job with it none the less. Anyhow practical work starts on Monday and my hopes are that I´ll get a job through that. Hopefully I won´t break my back ,literally speaking -like the last time because ouch! >_<

*Crosses fingers*
I look forward to it none the less. School is a nasty place at the moment anyways because our Englishteacher is kicking out everyone out of class for the rest of the year with and without reasons. By kicking out I am talking about firing them - since we all signed contracts on the first day we arrived there. I can understand it in some cases, I really can.
Since it I am not in any danger concerning getting fired I guess I can go into that practical work with a smile upon my face ;)

So far school is good and of course there are a few exceptions but they are hardly worth mentioning at all.
I feel quite okay and that is better than the past months. So I am looking forward to the 12th and hope the weather will be good since the whole concert is open air *crosses fingers*

And just because I am stubborn, I am gonna show them that it is okay for me if my teacher is the only one in the entire classroom who understands me.
*sticks out tongue*

Die haben den Stein der Weisen auch nicht gefunden,wenn ich das mal so bemerken darf. Dafür ich aber das ich doch noch ein paar Nerven hab die nach der ersten Schulwoche nach den Ferien wieder mal angegriffen sind.

Wesentliche Punkte

-Ich weiß wie man ein Plakat erstellt und brauche keine Schritt für Schritt Anleitung.
-Natürlich hat keiner in den Ferien das Projekt bearbeitet - ausser mir -.-
-Es ist ärgerlich wenn die halbe Klasse am Freitag abhaut und man lieber irgendwo in Mühlheim in einem dummen Karstadt wär als noch dümmere Biologie zu machen.
- Hätt ich nur ein Luftgewehr,dann wär es alles halb so schwer

1. I woke up early and managed it to speak actual sentences a breakfast. Yeah
2. I even participated during the classes.
3. Yes, I cracked hair jokes :D
4. It´s pretty damn hot here *fans self*

Maybe its melancholy,maybe it´s just me or the summer. It seems a life ago since I saw the people from my school. Maybe it is.
I was such a child back then,so full of hopes and dreams. Well,a few came true. Still,it is a life ago.


*Sigh*

Tinme passing by

Ich werde mich nicht aufregen das ich,was immer ich auch mache falsch mache - das kann manchmal sogar echt lustig sein.
Wirklich - die Gesichter sollte man mal sehen.

Was macht schon das meine Maus kaputt geht wenn ich sowieso chronisch pleite bin,weil es kurz vorm 1.ten ist und ich die DVD die ich gucken will nicht finden kann? Nichts. Einfach mal grinsen -das hilft ungemein

Es ist auch völlig okay das meine Mutter 20 Kilo zugenommen hat und mich als fett bezeichnet. Ich werde mich rächen indem ich einfach all ihre Kleidung gegen Sailormoon Kostüme austausche

A lot of the people I went to school with are either married,divorced in or out of a relationship. A few of them went to jail and out,have kids and there is the part of them that is or was on drugs.
Oh and of course the happy-shiny-people part of them. So,where do I meet them again? On the Net.

It never stops to amaze me .
Now there is me - not happy and shiny and none of the above. I just don´t belong to them,never did. For a certain amount of time that makes me proud.
Maybe I should write something again,something different aside fanfiction. Would anyone would like to read it?

Now,that I have actually holidays I feel okay . Natureally it is the time of the season when people start coming to me for advice,knowing I am far too good for my own good. Maybe I should kick myself for that. You know,it gets kinda tiring after a while.

The guy that cries on my shoulder because his wife took her bags and moved out and the friends not knowing I am there when I am in need.Natureally I get tired of these things.
I can live with the friends ignoring me most of the time because what does ignoring do to me? It doesn´t hurt nor sting.
But the alcoholic escapades of a grown man just piss me off so much. I told him to get a grip. She won´t come back. There will be other ones,though. And I know what alcohol can do to a family - maybe that´s what angers me so much.

He just sits there and cries and smokes and drinks. I want to kick him so much but on the other way - he´s not even a friend of mine but of my father. Natureally all of THEM turn to me for advice,too.

Must be the sun,I guess.

So,the news on TV aside - I feel great. You know my reportcard won´t be the best but with overall b´s and well..one flaw in math -its okay. I am okay. I will see people I like very soon and my bathing suit still fits. Damn I feel good. And yes I am going to use that bathing suit.

Right now everything got me on the edge. I am so close to punch the next one telling me what to do or what to say right in his or her face. Hopefully it will be someone who really deserves it.
Let them come, I´ll be waiting.

I am doing everything I can and all that comes around is fucking good advice which I can´t live from.
Oh well tomorrow will be another day and I won´t let nobody provoke me. Not in school,not in private and ..well otherwise. Yep.

There is this girl in my class - and just to be fair - we tried to fit her in but she just refused. She always does. Just because she has a kid doesn´t make her that special. She just thinks she is.
Poor little thing. Oh and without sounding mean. When you are weighting over 90kilos and upwards you shouldn´t wear Strings and low riding pants.

I -for one-don´t do that either because I have respect for myself AND the public. But Miss to-good-for-everying doesn´t even think that she would do something wrong.So she had the nerve to sit down next to me during a test and copy what I wrote - wait- no she nearly sat on my lap,of course I complained to my teacher because when you say something to that..woman..because she feels mobbed by everything and everyone.

-__-

The only thing I am tempted to mob with her is the fucking floor.

I won´t start walking on eggshells just because some people might think that it would be better.
Its not. Been there and done that and believe me it is terrible. Damn.
Now,lets hope that the real-estate guy calls today.

Ich weiß nicht,wann es angefangen nicht mehr wehzutun. Wie ja einige von euch lieben Friends wissen,sind meine Eltern beim besten Willen und nett ausgedrückt schwierig.
Ich habe zumindest immer gedacht,nachdem ich feststellen musste das ich bei meiner Mutter nicht erwünscht oder gewollt bin,das wenigstens mein Vater sich ändern ließe.
Man weiß ja bekanntlich -mit Liebe wird alles gut.

Das meine Liebe mich selber in den Arsch beißt konnte ich auch noch nicht wissen und das sie an einem Laib Brot scheitern würde,als Krönung und letztes Puzzleteil ist schon etwas hitverdächtig.
Ich sag nicht das ich besser bin,aber ich habe etwas besseres verdient.

Weder bin ich eine Schlampe,eine Drecksau oder die Hure von jemanden den man sich nicht einmal bemüht zu sehen für das was er ist.
Das man mir stattdessen droht ist mir auch nicht neu. Nur jetzt ist es an mir vorbeigegangen. Es werden noch unendlich lange 8 Monate werden aber was sind schon 8 Monate im Vergleich zu einem Leben als Drecksau Schlampe oder Hure von wem.
Ich bin nicht einmal sicher ob ich lachen oder weinen soll weil du,mein lieber Vater so lächerlich bist.
Als wäre ich deine Mutter und du mein Sohn im Spielzeugladen. Droh mir ruhig soviel du willst nichts mehr zu kochen,das kann ich auch allein. Ich bin mir sogar sicher das ich es besser kann als du - du musst es ja nicht "fressen". Auch meine Kartoffeln werde ich geschält bekommen,sie mögen nicht gut aussehen aber sie schnmecken bestimmt auch. Was meine "Reisen" zu "Du weißt schon wem" angeht - das geht dich einen feuchten Dreck an. Denn er behandelt mich ja immerhin wie etwas das du nie geschafft hast - Einen Menschen.

Nein,du wirst keinen Schlüssel bekommen. Du brauchst auch gar nichts für mich zu tun,ich werds schon schaffen - nicht wie du willst sondern ich denn ich lebe und atme in einer ganz anderen Welt als du. Denk vielleicht mal drüber nach.

...Supergirls just fly...

Has anyone been added by users as such :

http://debdrim.livejournal.com/

too?
I find it very annoying,really. Since when is it allowed to spam Livejournal eh?

So there is no bread - what do I care? I am not the one who spent the last money on fucking cigarettes. I want to smack him really really hard. Him,the hero who now "organizes" bread.
Wonderful - get him a medal for it,really he deserves it the king of idiots.

Buhuhuuu.
God where is that baseball bat when you really need it? Of course it´s never his fault. Noooo.
*cursing under breath*
Just leave me alone then you *beep*




ò__ó

I got sound! And my knee is better! I got liveeeeee!
XD me no words right now *hurgaaaah*

No,seriously I feel great =D! I fixed my computer issues on my own ^___^ Saved me a lot of money.
And my knee is better because of some meds the doc gave me =D