So I am back from Filderstadt since over a week.There are those moments in which you are so happy. The little things. A hug,a warm smile.Sadly it doesn´t last forever and forever is just such a small amount of time it is obscene.Really obscene. And then there is real life which crashes down around you - tiny debrids that fall like ash into your hair or mouth.
Well, I learned a long time ago that it doesn´t always go my way but why I ask, why I am always the stupid One? The unhappy One?The one everybody blames? Well I guess it is because sometimes
I am an easy target for everyone.
Not that I don´t know how to give back as good as I get. I learned that,too.

Just checking -
Got train tickets &hearts
Got the concert ticket &hearts
Yep, Filderstadt here I come *jumps up and down*
I am so happy about that fact right now that I can forget all my health problems &hearts for a little while.
Happiness &hearts

So I finally came around and watched the first Season of Glee - I like it, makes me kinda happy sometimes.
That be 3 Shows now I am watching - Lie to Me (Tim Roth is awesome ) Hawaii 5-0 (Alex O´Loughlin is one fine man) And in Glee *grins* Well Matthew Morrison isn´t hard on the eyes either - and he kinda reminds me of my first music-teacher O_o" HEEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPP

But..TV Wise I am kinda really happy. Sadly- TV-Land isn´t Reality-land so I don´t get to know when somebody lies to me who was supposed to be a friend, draw a gun on them when I find out and then break into a wonderful song. *sighs*

Reality is such a dreadful place sometimes. I had this friend - well I thought she was (I mentioned her in a previous German entry.) Whom I thought of as a friend for a long time. Wasted time as it turned out. All along it was all but about friendship - and then she called me to say how sorry she would be. But she has had so many chances that I just said no and deleted her from every list and adress book she was in. Reality is something that hurts but you stand there and face it because you are you &hearts

So on Monday I was in the hospital again - only for a few hours in the early morning but still my father kept talking about his friend whom also is in the hospital for different reasons. Man, that sucked - Big time, I tell you. I mean the poor guy certainly hasn´t an easy fate but still he isn´t family now is he?
Anyways,nothing but broken (and now fixed) specs and a few bruises. I cannot wait for the appointment with the eye-doc tomorrow. Hope it won´t rain buckets like today.

I hope you all had a good start in the New Year and it is a good one for you so far :)
After a little holiday with friends I am back home. I feel a lot better than the last days of last year but I think I lost a lot of faith in some things and people over the year. Lost some friends, too. That´s life I guess.
I think this year I will quit acting. Acting as in being nice and friendly to absolute assholes.

Lately I also realised that I need pain.And anger.I guess it is good, helps me write down the story I have in mind since I am Fourteen years old. Well, a little damaged in the head, a crack in the soul is quite interesting. Also I realised that I can´t handle people well that care and love me.
Here is to you, 2011 -hope you will be okay with me.

Sometimes I cry a river. I cry because I like it - a lot.I like to let it all go to hell, let it all affect me but lord, I love it.I love the insecurity and the shameless anger that is on my face when I yell at someone.
I love naked emotion - it is the best you can get. Raw and amazing - honest to top it all.

On another note : I miss Peter Hofman. Really, I do. It was the first CD I ever owned, the first thing that introduced me to classical music and I miss him. Nothing more I can really say but I do.

Also right now, I have three bruised ribs and damn that hurts. Hope it gets better soon but it will and I will swallow the pain as good as I can. It will get better. Hopes are high :)

Today I realised how much I am still in love with Lestat and Interview with the Vampire :D It still has me cracking up sometimes and the look of it - aww I miss those kind of vampire movies. I mean the real Ones :D
And can I just say that Tom Cruise is a wonderful Lestat? Damn. The entire Cast is perfect, yes I know it is not Armand like it is in the books and so on but still the looks make that movie. Hell what I would give to see Tom Cruise as Lestat again in another movie *sighs*

So I was playing around with photoshop again :D , yeah yeah I know. But I just couldn´t resist as I watched Hoodlum :D

Please credit judy_adams if you use and Comments are love &hearts

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( The rest behind here :)Collapse )

Again, a new layout - because I just love doing that =D
And a bunch of icons - I am also feeling in the mood of posting some and such but maybe later. The not so postive things of the day are that I have strained my arm in some way.
*mumbles*
Crappy bed. Anyway, it will all be better I gues &hearts

So, as you all know I have a slight Tim Roth addiction. And as always on Livejournal I am not alone :) I actually found a very nice and well maintained community. It would be very nice if you could take a look and of course watch,or join if you are interested :)
*Hands out chocolate*



allthingsroth